How To Prepare for a Puppy
Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places
and walk around barefoot in the dark.
Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded
by a blender.
Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain
and dark saying, "Be a good puppy, go potty
now - hurry up - come on, lets go!"
Cover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits
must use white hair, and light suits must use dark
hair.
Float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the
morning.
Play "catch" with a wet tennis ball.
Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the
gate.
Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing
all over the floor.
Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because
that's where the dog will drag it anyway, especially
when you have company.
Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your
favorite TV program and run to the door shouting, "No
no! Do that OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the program.
Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning,
and don't try to clean it up until you return from
work that evening.
Gouge the leg of the dinning room table several times
with a screwdriver -it's going to get chewed on anyway.
Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and
immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the
feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep
on your lap.
--Author Unknown
